REMEMBER the dog whose entire body was in a cast in the hit comedy film “There’s Something About Mary?” I can’t recall his breed anymore, but I think he was a schnauzer. Anyway, the dog had an accident, and the next thing viewers see is the poor thing wrapped in a cast with only his eyes, ears and snout peeking out.
Matt Dillon’s character got the dog out of the hospital, but, in his haste, he left his pet on the car’s roof as he drove off to parts unknown. Like in most comedies, there was no “closure,” as viewers never got to know what happened to the dog.
Well, life has a way of imitating art. This time an Angry Bird of an iPhone was involved. I was feeling upbeat after seeing my doctor last Saturday night and getting word that, again, nothing was terribly wrong with me. Not yet, anyway.
Before driving home, I decided to walk to a KFC outlet across the hospital to buy my folks some chicken, mashed potato and macaroni salad. I left my Louis Vuitton bag (a.k.a. my security blanket) in the car, and decided to just take my wallet and iPhone with me. Big mistake!
Upon my return, and with my hands full as I held on to the paper bagged goodies from KFC, I decided to leave the stuff I bought on the car’s roof as I fish out my car keys from one of my tight jeans pockets. In the process, I also removed my iPhone from the same jeans pocket to keep it from getting scratched by the keys. Big mistake No. 2.
Because my security blanket of a bag wasn’t around, my routine got out of whack. I also put the iPhone with the rest of the food on the car’s roof. When I finally got hold of the keys, I started moving everything from the car’s roof into the cabin. Or so I thought.
Yes, I drove off from the hospital’s parking lot not knowing that I left my iPhone on top of the car. Oddly enough, I was still able to drive 2 kms along busy Zapote-Alabang Road until I heard something fell off my roof and hit the window on the car’s left-hand side with a soft thud.
Before that, I had to swerve a bit as I tried to avoid a motorcycle that was partly blocking my path. That move most likely did it. After wondering what it was for a second or two, I dismissed it as a “stray” object hurled by some guy who had nothing better to do. It took me another 2 kms before I finally made the connection. Wait, that was no stray object. It was my precious iPhone, which fell off the roof!
I drove back, and to my relief, found the thing still lying on the road in an altered state, of course. In lieu of its shiny glass monitor, a network of cracks not unlike Spider-Man’s web on a bad day greeted me. I already gave up on it, and was just after my SIM and the phone’s contents.
Nothing, not even an industrial-strength product meant for the army, would have survived what my iPhone had gone through: falling off a speeding car, hitting the road and being run over by God knows how many cars and jeepneys.
But, lo and behold, when I held the thing, it was still bright and its icons managed to move left to right, right to left with a touch or two of my pointy finger. And I didn’t get a single cut from all that cracked glass. Oh my God, Igor, it’s (still) alive! I tried calling my other cellphone using it, and it still worked. I texted myself using the hapless iPhone with these words: “Ang tanga ko” (I’m such an idiot)! Still, it worked.
Despite looking like a “classic,” as my sister in law, who saw an after photo on Facebook, described my iPhone, (she probably meant vintage) the thing still works. I won’t be able to read emails and watch video clips for a while, however, as the cracks get in the way, but a friend told me that all it needs is a new casing and it will be as good as new. Don’t bother asking me to collect insurance for it because I didn’t avail of one. And I don’t think it’s wise to heed my brother in law’s well-meaning suggestion: “You should try asking Apple for a replacement because there’s nothing in the manual that says don’t leave on the car roof and drive.” Ha-ha!
Steve Jobs, may you rest in peace, I’m impressed!